It is easy to mourn the lives we aren’t living. Easy to wish we’d developed other talents, said yes to different offers. Easy to wish we’d worked harder, loved better, handled our finances more astutely, been more popular, stayed in the band, gone to Australia, said yes to the coffee or done more bloody yoga.
It takes no effort to miss the friends we didn’t make and the work we didn’t do the people we didn’t do and the people we didn’t marry and the children we didn’t have. It is not difficult to see yourself through the lens of other people, and to wish you were all the different kaleidoscopic versions of you they wanted you to be. It is easy to regret, and keep regretting, ad infinitum, until our time runs out.
But it is not lives we regret not living that are the real problem. It is the regret itself. It’s the regret that makes us shrivel and wither and feel like our own and other people’s worst enemy.
We can’t tell if any of those other versions would have been better or worse. Those lives are happening, it is true, but you are happening as well, and that is the happening we have to focus on.
— Matt Haig – The Midnight Library, 2020.
- Zen Comes Down To Three ThingsZen pretty much comes down to three things: Everything changes, Everything is connected, Pay attention. —Jane Hirschfield
- Zeal Is A VolcanoZeal is a volcano, the peak of which the grass of indecisiveness does not grow. — Kahil Gibran
- Yule Is When The Dark Half Of The Year Cedes To The Light HalfYule is when the dark half of the year cedes to the light half. Known as Solstice Night, Awaiting the rebirth of the Sun God. Bonfires, […]
- Your Words Surround You Like FogYour words surround you like fog and make you hard to see. ― Edward ‘Blackbeard’ Teach, Pirate
- Your Time Is LimitedYour time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other […]